The Big Intervention is Coming 03/21/2012

Fast forward another month. Same old, same old but more intense. At least I am not writing from the hospital, just planning for it again. The big intervention is coming, and I am not excited about it. So the issue is I have “smoldering” diverticulitis. I like the word smoldering, I have heard that about my eyes, but I don’t like it when referring to my gut, especially an infected gut. So there you have it. Everyone is in agreement it must come out. Most of it is genetic (thanks again, Mom) but the rest is due to the immunosuppressant that causes the diarrhea. Sorry to be graphic, but that’s the way it is. But here’s the silver lining. If you have been reading this blog or you know me, you know that’s how I try to see things. Admittedly it’s getting a bit harder and if this doesn’t come out the way I want, it will be way way way harder and I may not even be able to write to you all.  If we do the surgery now, I may avoid a pouch - in other terms, a colostomy, a bag. I will make you figure that out if you don’t know what it means and how devastating that would be to my now ravished 120# body. Really can’t go there and everyone knows that. So… if we plan well, we can minimize the disruption to my family, a supposed 5-7 day hospital stay. If we plan, we can demand a room with a view at hotel OHSU. If we plan, I can better prepare for another assault on my battered body. I am not in such a good state, but it’s also hampered by the deflating of my celebration balloons. I am staring at them, they need to go. In one sense, I am amazed at how long they floated, almost 3 months a source of joy! They were there for my one year celebration, helium filled hearts and stars of yellow, red and purple. Now they droop, no longer bursting. Is that like me? Perhaps I just need new balloons, fresh air and Georgia (my therapist, not the state!).