Heart and Soul: first you cry. . .

Heart and Soul – One woman’s journey through a heart transplant

Welcome to the weekly blog of a Donate Life Northwest volunteer who has graciously offered to tell  the story of her journey through the organ transplant process. She will post to this blog every Wednesday so you can ride this bumpy road with her.

Isn’t there a book titled, “First you Cry”? Well, I did. Not as long and hard as deserved but enough to rid myself of the initial shock. More came later, the into the pillow sobbing kind. And not much sleep that night – the night of the day my physician looked at me hard, but compassionately and said, “well Susan”……. He went on from there talking about my symptoms (worsening), my intolerance to increasing amounts of medications and my brother’s history and rapid decline. I was comforted somewhat when he said he wasn’t going to let that happen to me.

And after you cry you  pour yourself a glass of wine and call your girlfriends.  (I didn’t realize this was going to be a checklist for those being considered for the transplant list but it may be turning out that way, and that’s okay because I have looked for one and it doesn’t exist! And lord knows I could use it right now).  You call your girlfriends because the tears aren’t going to get you through this but your friends and family (and physicians and all the other healthcare professionals) are.  They have all promised me, and I will remind them of this every so often.

Next, you call your therapist.  And even after an hour session, IT’s still not real.  Even though I feel really lousy, I feel blessed that it is a beautiful spring day and so I take a slow, flat walk along  Portland’s south waterfront.  I thought more than once that this waterfront would be my view from my room on the hill AFTER.

AFTER is a big thing.  A good thing.  IT too will be fraught with peril, but it is something I am lucky to have to hold onto …..AFTER.

*disclaimer*
The author is a heart failure patient going through the transplant listing process. She also is a nurse and former hospital administrator. She would like to thank Donate Life Northwest for permitting her to post her observations on the Donate Life Northwest website. She also wants to emphasize that all opinions and views stated in the posts are her own and not those of Donate Life Northwest.

Tags: heart transplant, Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy, organ donation