Here’s the latest. The side effects (hypertension and peripheral edema) on the cyclosporine require other medications. The good news is that the headaches are better, not gone but less frequent and still violent when they come. I was talking with a friend about this today.
It's my six month anniversary. I remember the last time I thought about a six month anniversary. It was April 1985. It was my six month wedding anniversary and I was back in San Francisco- the scene of the crime! My husband and I were married on a yacht in the Bay compliments of my brother, who arranged the whole affair. It was fabulous, intimate with only very close friends and family. Anyway, on this date in 1985 I happened to be back in SF at a conference.
I feel a sense of accomplishment! I have sent my donor family letter. I feel very good about it, what it conveys. I had a few people take a look at it. Their feedback confirmed I had done what I wanted. Now it is in the donor family’s hands. If they choose to respond to me it will be interesting. If they choose not to, I can understand and respect that choice as well. I had an epiphany while doing the actual writing, or more precisely the copying of the letter.
I was alerted to another heart recipient's journal this week. I had to read through it a couple of times, but each time had the same feeling: these are my thoughts, these are my words. Even the picture of the first walk was very, very familiar. It was a little eerie. Don’t know, maybe all of us feel the same way? I shared the journal with Kathryn. Actually, I told her to pour a glass of wine before she sat down to read it. Then I told her about feeling my feelings, and writing my words.
I am in the process of composing a letter to my donor family. I wanted to wait about six months for many reasons: time for healing, time for me to adjust, time for many drafts to be written and edited so I could get it right. I so want to get it right. I am imagining it may be a difficult letter for them to read. It is a difficult letter for me to write in that I want to exude gratefulness and joy and well being which, as you know, is hard for me right now.